When was the last time you felt angry, and what was it that made you feel that way?

Holding onto anger doesn’t only affect your mind;  It also has an affect your body in serious negative ways (see link) http://www.everydayhealth.com/news/ways-anger-ruining-your-health/

Can you pinpoint how holding onto your anger can have a positive effect? (No, neither can I).  

But what do you do when you’re so angry and you feel your body reacting to it? ACKNOWLEDGE IT.  That doesn’t mean to throw objects or shout profanities at your Boss…
But it does mean that you can tell the other person that you are angry.

However, if you can not do it in a respectful manner, then take deep breaths and wait until your body is out of the flight-or-fight response to express your feelings. Excuse yourself and leave the situation if you can, waiting until another moment when you have calmed down.

I experienced a horrible situation where I had to deal with an uninvited person returning from their two-week vacation all relaxed and ready to chat (but who totally ignored my boundary about not dropping by the house unexpected). I’d had a gruelling day at work, not slept through the night the past two weeks, not had anything in the house to offer this person for dinner, and just wanted to return home to some peace and quiet with my husband. I was so angry that this person would disrespect me, and I had to tell them to leave: Straight out – LEAVE.

The last thing I felt at that moment was peaceful or loving. Do I have regret? Yes. I regret the situation, but not that I defended my boundaries. 

Could I have better expressed myself?
Sure: With the right amount of sleep (and not in the middle of a situation at work at the same time) I know I would have been able to verbalize my feelings better… 

But don’t beat yourself up for mistakes: as long as no one was physically hurt and no horrible names were called, I think every crappy situation can be used as a learning experience. However, if you are losing it on a daily or weekly basis, or if your (or someone else’s) anger becomes physical or verbally abusive—then seek help from a professional.

ANGER can wreak havoc your body—so find some way of getting it out without taking it out on others (and/or especially yourself)

  • Meditation and deep breathing exercises will help with this. I highly recommend the App called CALM. It will help subdue your flight-or-fight response from taking over.
  • If possible, remove yourself from the situation, and find a quiet place to calm down before things escalate.
  • Express your boundaries firmly: If someone refuses to honour your boundaries, then they are disrespecting you. Pointe finale.

NO ONE IS PERFECT in any difficult situation: but a difficult situation can always help us better ourselves… 

With Love & Creativity,

x Laurie