August 29, 2016

Who are you, truly? Are you secure in who you are, knowing what you have to offer the world?  
In a room full of strangers, are you comfortable being 100% authentically you?  (I know it’s an odd question, but let’s face it—I love making you think!)

I used to have an issue with going to parties where I knew some amazing people would be attending. I wanted to be myself, but I was afraid of being rejected, usually making sure I had my emotional armour on (in case). My value depended on everyone else in the room…sadly. Which is probably why my anxiety flared up! (Yah think?!)

I thought that I would leave each party feeling amazing! But the exact opposite happened. I never felt good because I hadn’t been ME at that party: I had been Laurie 2.0. (The desperate needing-to-be-liked-Laurie) I had donned the emotional armour, only for it to be penetrated and therefore leaving even more emotionally vulnerable. (Seriously… WTF?)

How could I ever go to a party and be okay with who I was?  
I had to learn to overcome my inner assumptions and thoughts about myself, so that I could be bravely authentic. And the more I put myself out there, the more people seemed to be ok with me. As. I. Was.

How I overcame my fear was to accept that it was ok to feel whatever I was feeling. You have to do that, otherwise you just end up feeling more ashamed of your feelings. Then I did some transformational self-coaching to shift my perspective. This included:

  • Journalling,
  • Specific CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) exercises

And guess what? The next party, I left my emotional armour at home,decided that I would accept myself 100% and for the first time ever I left that party feeling amazing, peaceful, and EMPOWERED! Knowing that I was liked as myself was the most empowering moment ever! (And if someone didn’t like me, I still felt great because I had the courage to put myself out there! (Thank you oh great OZ!) haha

Is it absolutely normal to want to be liked: especially in adolescence. But if being liked means having to change who you are, then is it really worth it? What if you can never achieve that perfection that others expect?

Are you comfortable with who you are? If not, can you pinpoint the exact thing that might be stopping you from feeling that?  What if someone loved you for exactly who you are: how might you feel knowing that? (Dare I ask, “What if you have it all wrong all this time?)

  • What is one thing that you can do today to challenge your negative thoughts and assumptions?  
  • How can you gain a different perspective on your situation?
  • Isn’t your emotional armour getting a little heavy?

Your authentic life is waiting!

x Laurie